“I once asked a guy out to dinner downtown, and I showed up a little early. He texted me saying he was gonna be five minutes late. Instead of me waiting for him, I decided to leave as fast as I could so I wouldn’t see him. I actually really liked the guy and didn’t want to blow him off, but I was just so nervous that I couldn’t help but leave”.
- Jennifer Sanford, Ag Science Major, Senior
Asking a someone out on a first date is hard enough, but following through and actually going on the date can be even tougher. Between the expectations, nervousness and excitement of it all, it usually doesn’t go as planned. A first date is often awkward and a bit uncomfortable. But contrary to what it might seem, first dates can and do happen successfully. It’s very rare that people die from just a first date. So what’s there to worry about? Below are a few helpful tips to help guide you through the first date;
1. Do something you both like: Go with what you know. If you both like the outdoors, try something fun, like hiking Bishop Peak. Or simply walk along the bluffs at Montana De Oro. Try wine tasting, just don’t drink too much. If your last resort is dinner, pick somewhere good. Don’t go out for for a burger or sushi. For one, burgers are a mess. No one likes to watch someone attempt to fit a slab of meat into their mouth. And as far as sushi goes, half the planet doesn’t know how to use chop sticks. And if you’re one of those people, spare yourself from looking like an ass and take your date somewhere more casual, yet classy.
2. No tuxedos: Trying to pull off a new trend or wearing something you just bought on a first date might make you feel more nervous. When it comes to dates, you’re always better under-dressed than over-dressed. Wearing jeans and a nice shirt is always a smart way to go. For guys, you never want to look better than your date. But at the same time, make sure no to look homeless. And for ladies, you don’t need to wear a pair for five inch hooker heels to impress us. Wear something comfortable.
“I’m sorry, you’re just really fu@#ing awkward.”
-Anonymous, Graphic Design Major, Junior
3. Not too fancy: Going to a fancy restaurant on a first date might make you feel like you have to be on your best behavior, making you tense up rather than just be yourself. Fancy means pricey, and pricey can make anyone on a date feel uncomfortable if they can’t afford it, and uncomfortable equals awkward. Find a place somewhere in the middle.
4. Stay away from loud places: A first date is all about getting acquainted with the other person and learning about them. However, you can’t learn much if you can’t hear what they are saying. What’s more awkward than misunderstanding every word your date is saying?
You say, “I REALLY LIKE YOUR HAIR!”
Date says, “WHAT?! You’ve been in an affair?”
Case and point. No loud places. They’re just another breeding ground for awkward situations.
5. Don’t go to a movie: Taking in a new movie that you both want to see is always a good idea, but unless you’re going to do something before or after, it doesn’t leave much room for conversation. Either go to dinner before or maybe frozen yogurt after. Just make sure there’s enough area for dialogue between you two before going to the movie. Who wants to sit next to someone for two hours when they barely know them? There’s nothing romantic about that.
Try something other than a movie for a first date. Movies are what old people watch together when they have nothing better to do.
6. Stay classy: There is a fine line between flirting with someone and propositioning them. If the other person on the date is not as sexually inclined, it might make them feel pressured or uncomfortable and uninterested. If they flirt with you too, maybe the date can turn into a passionate evening. Unless the intention of this date is to get a steady booty call, stick to flirting. Nothing is more awkward than a guy coming on too strong and making a complete ass of himself. He may not see it at the time when he’s in heat. But after he gets turned down, he’ll look back a realize what a ridiculous mistake he has made.
Confidence is always a good thing. But there's a fine line between confidence and cockiness.
“I once took a girl out to dinner the night after we met in the library. We went out to Thai food and we seemed to have a great time. After dinner she wanted me to drive her home because she said she had a lot of homework to do. I never saw or heard from her after that besides one text the next day from her. All it said was, ‘I’m sorry, you’re just really fu#@ing awkward’”.
-Anonymous, Graphic Design Major, Junior
Anonymous said I could use his name in my blog, but I felt so damn sorry for the guy that I thought I’d spare him. Don’t worry Anonymous, there’s someone just as awkward as you waiting in one of the back corners of the library for you to appear and ask her our to Thai food. Better luck next time.
As many of us know, and as Awkward learned the hard way, sometime there’s just no way around being awkward. And is someone can’t appreciate you for at least trying, then don’t waste your time with them.
Relax and be yourself. When “silence” does come, break it with a joke, a compliment or a question and remember to be honest; let your date know how nervous you are. Letting your date know how to feel on this first date will take away the tension on he/she is feeling and will make him or her comfortable which will make the entire situation better.
“It’s the truth, just be yourself. You can’t go wrong on a first date by simply being yourself. Don’t try hard.”
- Andrew Rheter, Kinesiology Major, Junior